Perfectly imperfect♥
Vampire diaries ftw♥
Tuesday, December 27, 2011 | 11:58 AM | 0 beautiful(s)
time checked, it's already 3.59am and i'm still wide awake:/ had a fight with him again. it's about the freaking facebook guys inbox thingy thing. old friend inbox me asking me whether i owned a twitter. and then i said no. that's it. there's a reason why i delete the inbox. i deleted it because i don't want him to said anything nasty to him and cause a fight. it's not because i don't want him to read. and then we got into a fight. and he start doing the same thing. he inboxed his old friend . he was the one who started inboxing the girl first. atleast i told him what my old friend want. but he? he didn't even tell me. and the i manage to caught one message from the girl. it was this--->':)' what was they talking about. all sorts of things is playing through my mind right now. yes, i know i played fb after 12 while texting him. he did talked to me. and i've stopped doing it. but when he found out that my old friend inbox me, he immediately log into fb and just picked any old girl friends of his and start inboxing. and the thing that hurt me is that, the girl is way more prettier, attractive then me. what did he said until the girl showed a smile face? and further more, the girl had mixed blood. and one of them was eurasion or whatever. she's really pretty then me. and i'm jelous because he inbox her. it hurts like hell. i have ebough problem and he just added one more burden onto me. i can't believe i'm crying badly while typing this. real bad. sure gonna get a really bad migraine after crying so badly. i'm stressed enough. i'm in pain. and i can't take anymore of this. seriously. i feel like running away from everyone and everything. i know that running away from my problems won't solve anything. but i don't care. if i don't run away, what should i do? just sit down there and do nothing? i'll be more fucked up then i am if i do that. i can't solve anything. maybe my mum is right. i'm too young to have a boyfriend at this kind of age. she kind of found out about me and him being together and she got very, very,very very upset. i feel like i've disappointed both of my parents. i've done things that my parents forbids me from doing. oh god:(... i just want to be a faithful daughter to both my mum and dad. sometimes i just wish that my parents didn't divorce at first. we was a really happy family. just like other families. it's hard for me to handle all this alone. it sucks, big time:'( nobody will even care if i just disappear like that. right now, i feel helpless, hopeless and useless. a piece of shit. going through all this alone is really hard and it sucks. teenage years is really tough i must say. god, i'm crying really badly now. shall stop here and cry myself to sleep. goodnight:'(
time checked, it's already 3.59am and i'm still wide awake:/ had a fight with him again. it's about the freaking facebook guys inbox thingy thing. old friend inbox me asking me whether i owned a twitter. and then i said no. that's it. there's a reason why i delete the inbox. i deleted it because i don't want him to said anything nasty to him and cause a fight. it's not because i don't want him to read. and then we got into a fight. and he start doing the same thing. he inboxed his old friend . he was the one who started inboxing the girl first. atleast i told him what my old friend want. but he? he didn't even tell me. and the i manage to caught one message from the girl. it was this--->':)' what was they talking about. all sorts of things is playing through my mind right now. yes, i know i played fb after 12 while texting him. he did talked to me. and i've stopped doing it. but when he found out that my old friend inbox me, he immediately log into fb and just picked any old girl friends of his and start inboxing. and the thing that hurt me is that, the girl is way more prettier, attractive then me. what did he said until the girl showed a smile face? and further more, the girl had mixed blood. and one of them was eurasion or whatever. she's really pretty then me. and i'm jelous because he inbox her. it hurts like hell. i have ebough problem and he just added one more burden onto me. i can't believe i'm crying badly while typing this. real bad. sure gonna get a really bad migraine after crying so badly. i'm stressed enough. i'm in pain. and i can't take anymore of this. seriously. i feel like running away from everyone and everything. i know that running away from my problems won't solve anything. but i don't care. if i don't run away, what should i do? just sit down there and do nothing? i'll be more fucked up then i am if i do that. i can't solve anything. maybe my mum is right. i'm too young to have a boyfriend at this kind of age. she kind of found out about me and him being together and she got very, very,very very upset. i feel like i've disappointed both of my parents. i've done things that my parents forbids me from doing. oh god:(... i just want to be a faithful daughter to both my mum and dad. sometimes i just wish that my parents didn't divorce at first. we was a really happy family. just like other families. it's hard for me to handle all this alone. it sucks, big time:'( nobody will even care if i just disappear like that. right now, i feel helpless, hopeless and useless. a piece of shit. going through all this alone is really hard and it sucks. teenage years is really tough i must say. god, i'm crying really badly now. shall stop here and cry myself to sleep. goodnight:'(xoxo,
shira lollie.
Labels: flying solo....
Sunday, December 25, 2011 | 10:08 AM | 0 beautiful(s)
Omg, my blog is dusty. such a long time never update. lazy lerr. hehhe. so 2011 is ending soon and sooner, we're going to welcome 2012. 2010 last year, i wished that 2011 will be much more better then 2010. but.. damn it. it was a fucking year for me. seriously. it's much worse then 2010. wth right-.-? so this year, i'm not going to wish that 2012 is going to be better then 2011. cause i know, it will be much worse in 2012. pfft.
OLDER || NEWER
Omg, my blog is dusty. such a long time never update. lazy lerr. hehhe. so 2011 is ending soon and sooner, we're going to welcome 2012. 2010 last year, i wished that 2011 will be much more better then 2010. but.. damn it. it was a fucking year for me. seriously. it's much worse then 2010. wth right-.-? so this year, i'm not going to wish that 2012 is going to be better then 2011. cause i know, it will be much worse in 2012. pfft.
*change topic*
i started the day with depression. because yesterday, khair kissed my cheeks infront of ashley. and as we all know, ashley is a big mouthed child. don't know how to shut her mouth. so i tried to shut her mouth and asked her to lied. but it doesn't worked. and when her mum came back, she told her mum, dad and granmother. luckily dad wasn't at home. phew. but still! my aunty knew. so i called kakak and asked her for help. and it didn't worked also. fuck. so today, nayli told me that her mum knew the whole story. i asked her how she knew, she said that her mum told her that kakak told her mum and her mum told nayli mum. so i was mad at kakak cause she promised me that she will helped me if my aunty were to know about what happened. but then she told her mum. so i was fuming mad. and then suddenly, kakak mum called me and told me that it wasn't kakak who told her mum. it was ashley who told her mum that khair kissed me. so i was kind of confused because nayli told me that kakak told her mum and her mum told nayli's mum. but then kakak told me that it was ashley who told her mum and her mum told kakak mum. so i was really lost and confused and blur. if you were in my shoes, you know how it feels. so i don't know whuch one is correct. so nayli's mum called me and nayli into the room and slow talk with us. she called kakak mum and kakak mum told us the whole story and said that nayli was spouting nonsense. but then if kakak mum said that nayli was spouting nonsense, doesn't that make her mum spouting nonsense too? because it was her mum who told her right? so yeah. anyway, it's over already. nayli's mum bring me, fazah and nayli out to town to release tension because atok was nagging and nagging at home. at first fazah didn't want to go. but then he changed his mind and said he wanted to go. i told him i didn't have any money to pay for his fare. so he didn't followed. when we was walking to chinese garden mrt, nayli's mum asked me why fazah never follow, so i said i don't have any money to pay for his fare. then she said she have money. so called fazah and ask him to get ready. and there's a problem. atok didn't let fazah go because if he go, no one is going to take care of nnk. and earlier on, atok already asked fazah to accompany him to go to ntuc to buy groceries for tomorrow cooking. so fazah was sad obviously-.- so we called my dad and then dad asked nayli's mum to said to atok that my dad asked him to follow. so atok cnnt do anything, he just kept quiet. dafug. so yeah, nayli's mum bought for me zouk out shirt from ripcurl as a advance birthday present. me, nayli and kakak same shirt, white colour. fazah and iwan black colour. danial didn't want it at first. after we left that shop, he said he want that zouk out shirt. by the time it was late because the shop was already closed. so only me, nayli, kakak, iwan and fazah has the same shirt. cool rightttt? hehehehe:p had our lunch at kfc and supper at breeks. overall, today was awesome^^
okay, my fingers is already tired from typing so long. going to stop here. chao ozaaiiiiii!
xoxo,
shira lollie.
Labels: awesome day out\m/