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met him today. we're fine now. i get to meet him atlast. it's going to be one week since i last saw him. miss him so much. but smth happened. he was mad at me because i was busy with my phone. i was to blame. but nina said she got a job for me and that i have to comfirmed with her before 5.30pm. so was planning to work w/o dad knowing. because he surely won't let me work if i told him. i just hope he won't know. because it's like from 10.30-2.30pm. and 1 hour is $5.50. and it's only until friday. so yea. i hope dad won't get mad. even if he's mad, he's to blame. he's getting ridiculous this past few days:/ my curfew is always like get back home before 7. but idk what's wrong with my dad this past few days. i told him on sunday that i'm going my friend crib on mon. i'll be back home before 7. as per normal. and he said okay. but then he called me and like ask me in a panick mode. he said where am i. then i was like, 'i alr told you on sunday infront of nayli that i'm going my friend house and will be back home before 7.' and he asked me to be back home before 6. nonsense siaa. how miserable my life is. my brother have so much freedoom. me? i'm sec 3 alr. why is he still controlling me? i envy my cousin. she's only primary 6 and she can go back home anytime she want. and her parents is also strict, but doesn't control. me? i'm 15 turning 16 soon! this is so unfair! yes, i know he cares for me. he don't want anything to happen to me. but getting home before 6?! that is seriously, fucking ridiculous. i guess he's too paranoid when atok talked to him about me running away from home with nayli. i was like joking. where will i go? what will i eat? idk what's wrong with my dad. so if he finds out i'm working, i will just fucking admit. afterall, i did this because i need money. so that i don't have to ask him for money each time i want to buy smth. he should be happy. i know. he's scared that i will not be interested in studies anymore after i'm so engrossed in working to find money. i won't be like that. yes, i know i can't say like this earlier. but i know myself. i won't be like that. everything i said, he just won't listen. he only wants me to listen to him. so dad, i'm sorry if you find out i'm working w/o your permission. because you made me like this. i'm seriously suffering. my problems came at one go. whatever.

what's wrong with you? why are you getting mad at me for no reason? when i asked you, you change the topic. you are being unreasonable you know:'( atleast you can tell me why you're mad at me. so i know. i've cried just now. and i'm crying as i'm typing it now. why are we fighting alot this past few days? why? oh gosh. i'm too weak to fight with you again. i can't blame you if you're mad at me. because i think, well, maybe it's my fault that i made you mad. but tell me why, what's the reason. so i know. you won't tell me, how am i suppose to know? how am i going to pacify and comfort you? haish...

to be honest, i'm really not good at pacifying you. well, in phone when you're mad, i still can't pacify you abit. but when we meet, i seriously don't know how to console you if you're mad at me:( why am i useless..... i never really had a 'serious' r/s. you are the first one. so that's why whenever we fight, i will act inmature and just ignore you when you text me. i'm so stupid. i really don't know what to say when you're mad, idk how to pacify you so you won't be mad anymore. haish, we are fighting everyday. even when we're on good terms, we'll fight again due to smth. then get back together, then fight again. that's the cycle. that's how it goes. i wonder if your friends have any bad impression on me. well, i'm not surprise if they leave a bad impression on me because of my attitude in this r/s. i'm immature. i admit.

i'm having a migraine. been crying too much. goodnight.

xoxo,

shira lollie.

met him today. we're fine now. i get to meet him atlast. it's going to be one week since i last saw him. miss him so much. but smth happened. he was mad at me because i was busy with my phone. i was to blame. but nina said she got a job for me and that i have to comfirmed with her before 5.30pm. so was planning to work w/o dad knowing. because he surely won't let me work if i told him. i just hope he won't know. because it's like from 10.30-2.30pm. and 1 hour is $5.50. and it's only until friday. so yea. i hope dad won't get mad. even if he's mad, he's to blame. he's getting ridiculous this past few days:/ my curfew is always like get back home before 7. but idk what's wrong with my dad this past few days. i told him on sunday that i'm going my friend crib on mon. i'll be back home before 7. as per normal. and he said okay. but then he called me and like ask me in a panick mode. he said where am i. then i was like, 'i alr told you on sunday infront of nayli that i'm going my friend house and will be back home before 7.' and he asked me to be back home before 6. nonsense siaa. how miserable my life is. my brother have so much freedoom. me? i'm sec 3 alr. why is he still controlling me? i envy my cousin. she's only primary 6 and she can go back home anytime she want. and her parents is also strict, but doesn't control. me? i'm 15 turning 16 soon! this is so unfair! yes, i know he cares for me. he don't want anything to happen to me. but getting home before 6?! that is seriously, fucking ridiculous. i guess he's too paranoid when atok talked to him about me running away from home with nayli. i was like joking. where will i go? what will i eat? idk what's wrong with my dad. so if he finds out i'm working, i will just fucking admit. afterall, i did this because i need money. so that i don't have to ask him for money each time i want to buy smth. he should be happy. i know. he's scared that i will not be interested in studies anymore after i'm so engrossed in working to find money. i won't be like that. yes, i know i can't say like this earlier. but i know myself. i won't be like that. everything i said, he just won't listen. he only wants me to listen to him. so dad, i'm sorry if you find out i'm working w/o your permission. because you made me like this. i'm seriously suffering. my problems came at one go. whatever.

what's wrong with you? why are you getting mad at me for no reason? when i asked you, you change the topic. you are being unreasonable you know:'( atleast you can tell me why you're mad at me. so i know. i've cried just now. and i'm crying as i'm typing it now. why are we fighting alot this past few days? why? oh gosh. i'm too weak to fight with you again. i can't blame you if you're mad at me. because i think, well, maybe it's my fault that i made you mad. but tell me why, what's the reason. so i know. you won't tell me, how am i suppose to know? how am i going to pacify and comfort you? haish...

to be honest, i'm really not good at pacifying you. well, in phone when you're mad, i still can't pacify you abit. but when we meet, i seriously don't know how to console you if you're mad at me:( why am i useless..... i never really had a 'serious' r/s. you are the first one. so that's why whenever we fight, i will act inmature and just ignore you when you text me. i'm so stupid. i really don't know what to say when you're mad, idk how to pacify you so you won't be mad anymore. haish, we are fighting everyday. even when we're on good terms, we'll fight again due to smth. then get back together, then fight again. that's the cycle. that's how it goes. i wonder if your friends have any bad impression on me. well, i'm not surprise if they leave a bad impression on me because of my attitude in this r/s. i'm immature. i admit.

i'm having a migraine. been crying too much. goodnight.

xoxo,

shira lollie.